“You can come in…” I said, resting my hand on my dresser while I took off my shoes.
Robert smiled nervously leaning against the doorway to my bedroom, mumbling something about my room being so clean he didn’t want to mess anything up. Then he casually wandered back into the living room and waited for me to come out.
We had been hanging out for months and he hadn’t made a single move. I thought he was shy so I created a cute and flirty kicking-off-my-heels-in-my-bedroom moment, complete with a fresh pink pedicure and yet he seemed… uninterested.
If you were visiting this site during the “Um… Are We Dating???” phase of my relationship with Robert, you might remember posts like “He Never Touches Me” and the comments where women expertly told me that if he wasn’t making physical advances, I was delusional for thinking I was anything more than a friend.
During this time I had two girl friends giving me advice (one was married one was single):
Married Friend: He’s taking you out all the time and he hasn’t tried anything yet??? He must REALLY like you!
Single Friend: He’s taking you out all the time and he hasn’t TRIED anything yet??? CeCe, I think you’re in the Friend Zone
When did sexual attraction/desire become synonymous with romantic interest?
Somewhere along the line a guy “making a move” became the only way I knew if he liked me. Then because it was the only way I knew if he liked me, it was the main thing I looked for. Even though I hated that guys were “only after one thing” I was measuring their interest by whether or not they tried to hook up with me.
Then came Robert with his quality time, respect and wanting to get to know me as a person swag. Who would have guessed that his willingness to take his time with our relationship would leave me confused with a bruised ego.
Guys can hook up with anyone… so if you come across a man who doesn’t want to rush things with you, take a minute and open yourself up to courtship (vintage, I know!) instead of asking if maybe he’s gay or has some kind of problem consider the fact that he may be treating you differently because he sees you differently.
Looking back, Robert taking his time with me was a huge compliment and exercise in self control on his part… I’m glad I realized it before writing him off for moving too slow.
Ever had a guy move “too slow”? How did you handle it?