Looking back on the men who’ve tried to “holler” at me, there are certain reoccurring trends. I can basically pin point specific “types” of men who I’ve consistently encountered as a Plus Size Princess in New York City and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only PSP they’re approaching. So, this week I begin a series called “Men Every Big Girl Will Meet”. Maybe some of these dudes will sound familiar… Here we go!
Theres a really sweet girl who has been interning at my office. She’s from the south, she has blonde hair, big green eyes and a chunky frame. I went to grab a cup of coffee the other day when I heard her talking to one of the other interns. Apparently, over the past week she:
Monday: Met a middle eastern guy on the train who was hot but way smaller/shorter than she’d like
Tuesday: Let him take her on her first date… ever
Wednesday: Had her first kiss with him (it was awful)
Thursday: Realized they weren’t a match due to his broken English and overly emotional ways
Friday: Dumped him.
Eavesdropped listened to the interns story, I realized she’d met… The Foreign Guy.
Foreign men love big women. So, when a big girl is shopping on 5th avenue where the mentality is that “you can’t be too skinny or too rich”, she shouldn’t be surprised when the foreign man on the corner selling knock-off handbags gives her more attention than the sales people at Saks.
I guess the obvious reason is that the standards of beauty in other countries are very different. In the sixth grade I can remember Mrs. Osaki teaching us about Yang Guifei, who brought down an ancient Chinese Dynasty because she was so hot. She was also chubby during a time when size conveyed a certain social/economic status. Basically she was fat because she could afford to eat, and everyone wanted to be fat to show that they could afford it too. The 11 year old Plus Size Princess in me was slightly annoyed that that I wasn’t born in that era. (Is there a Chinese translation for “You can never be too rich or too… fat?”).
Then there are the African and Middle Eastern countries where wives are sent away to fatten up in order to become attractive for their betrothed. The more they weigh on their wedding day, the better. As my engaged friends sign up for fitness boot camps in order to lose weight and fit into their wedding dresses, I wonder how much easier it would be if they were buying their dresses a size too big with the hopes of gaining weight, instead of a size too small in the hopes of losing it.
The other thing that stood out to me from our interns story was that her Foreigner was very emotional. I’d had a similar experience a few years back.
One night at Divas, I met a really cool economics major from Senegal. Obviously he liked big girls because he was at a big girl club. We had a good time on the dance floor so when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. He called me the next night to go to dinner. I didn’t have plans, so I went. After dinner, he became very clingy. He was calling me all the time, wanting to see me, telling me I was the girl he’d been looking for etc. etc. He was saying nice things, but it didn’t sit well with me. After a while I realized… he was lonely.
A lot of these foreign guys come to the states for a better life, but they leave a lot behind. They don’t have family or friends here, but they aren’t socially acclimated to American culture which can make it difficult to make friends. Especially in a city like New York, where although there are millions of people its easy to feel isolated.
I’m not saying that all foreign men are tragic and lonely. I’ve had a good time dating Middle Eastern, Australian, African, and Turkish guys. My mom is an American girl who got swept off her feet by an engineering major from across the Atlantic and 30+ years later they’re still together (and he’s a great husband and father ♥). But my mom was a little thick back in the day and my Dad liked what he saw. So their love story still falls under this category.
Foreign men like girls with a little extra here and there, which actually brings me to the next man every big girl (in New York) will meet: The Cab Driver. But more on that next week… stay tuned!
P.S. Have any of you dated a guy from another country? Or been approached by one online? How’d it go?