Watching the TV show, More To Love, is becoming quite laborious, but I did tune in (a few days late, via DVR) to last weeks episode.
I think we were all holding our breath for the moment when Kristian’s borderline obsessive feelings about Luke would lead him to kick her off of the show. After weeks of hearing Kristian gush over our Big Boned Bachelor with phrases like “he’s the most amazing man”, “I love this man” etc. It was finally her more direct, “I love you” in three different languages that prompted Luke to send her packing.
I’ve read my share of dating books, relationship articles and eaves dropped on enough guy talk to know that men love a chase. While a woman might be moved by an unexpected “I love you”, a man will more than likely run in the other direction. I personally don’t think you can convince a man to love you, and even if you try, “I think you should love me because I’m in love with you” may not be the best argument.
But that’s exactly what Kristian did.
Reality programming is now a major television genre and its very apparent that these shows are edited towards specific story lines. As I watched Kristian, I kept feeling like the producers saw her as the “every-girl” character, or in this case the “every-fat-girl” character. Kristian wasn’t as glamorous as the plus size model or as insecure as the girl who was afraid to sing in public. She was the girl who all the chubby chicks watching the show were supposed to identify with. The girl with the heart of gold that she wore directly on her sleeve. When Luke gave Kristian the boot and then broke the elimination show tradition by chasing after her to hold her and comfort her as she sobbed, it was obviously a moment that was supposed to tug at our heart strings.
Kristian was supposed to be just like me, but was she? I had to ask myself a few questions.
1.) Do I, as a Plus Size Princess (PSP), fall hard for any man who shows me the slightest bit of attention?
2.) Would I, as a PSP, date someone like Kristian’s ex boyfriends who, according to her saw her as just a “fat girl”?
3.) After being dumped by a self professed lover of big women, would I still see my weight as the ultimate hindrance to his feelings for me?
The answers to #1 and #2 were pretty easy… No. But #3 is something I’m not sure about. In Kristian’s exit interview she said that she hoped her size wasn’t the reason Luke sent her home because she was “the biggest girl in the house”. Of all of the footage and soundbites that the editors used to shape the Kristian character, “I was the biggest girl in the house” was the only thing that really did pull the strings of my heart.
Are we so conditioned to seeing weight as a problem, that we fail to recognize when its not?
As I watched Kristian go after Luke, she made many classic mistakes that girls (of all sizes) make when dating. There were so many times I wanted to yell at the TV “you’re coming on too strong!”, “you’re going to scare him off!” but Kristian wasn’t able to see that. Instead, even though she was involved with a man who made it perfectly clear on national television that he’s attracted to large women, Kristian could not see past her size.
Perhaps that was her biggest mistake.