“I was the biggest girl in the house” Is there a little bit of Kristian in all of us?

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*Deep Sigh*

Watching the TV show, More To Love, is becoming quite laborious, but I did tune in (a few days late, via DVR) to last weeks episode.

I think we were all holding our breath for the moment when Kristian’s borderline obsessive feelings about Luke would lead him to kick her off of the show. After weeks of hearing Kristian gush over our Big Boned Bachelor with phrases like “he’s the most amazing man”, “I love this man” etc. It was finally her more direct, “I love you” in three different languages that prompted Luke to send her packing.

I’ve read my share of dating books, relationship articles and eaves dropped on enough guy talk to know that men love a chase. While a woman might be moved by an unexpected “I love you”, a man will more than likely run in the other direction. I personally don’t think you can convince a man to love you, and even if you try, “I think you should love me because I’m in love with you” may not be the best argument.

But that’s exactly what Kristian did.

Reality programming is now a major television genre and its very apparent that these shows are edited towards specific story lines. As I watched Kristian, I kept feeling like the producers saw her as the “every-girl” character, or in this case the “every-fat-girl” character. Kristian wasn’t as glamorous as the plus size model or as insecure as the girl who was afraid to sing in public. She was the girl who all the chubby chicks watching the show were supposed to identify with. The girl with the heart of gold that she wore directly on her sleeve. When Luke gave Kristian the boot and then broke the elimination show tradition by chasing after her to hold her and comfort her as she sobbed, it was obviously a moment that was supposed to tug at our heart strings.

Kristian was supposed to be just like me, but was she? I had to ask myself a few questions.

1.) Do I, as a Plus Size Princess (PSP), fall hard for any man who shows me the slightest bit of attention?

2.) Would I, as a PSP, date someone like Kristian’s ex boyfriends who, according to her saw her as just a “fat girl”?

3.) After being dumped by a self professed lover of big women, would I still see my weight as the ultimate hindrance to his feelings for me?

The answers to #1 and #2 were pretty easy… No. But #3 is something I’m not sure about. In Kristian’s exit interview she said that she hoped her size wasn’t the reason Luke sent her home because she was “the biggest girl in the house”. Of all of the footage and soundbites that the editors used to shape the Kristian character, “I was the biggest girl in the house” was the only thing that really did pull the strings of my heart.

Are we so conditioned to seeing weight as a problem, that we fail to recognize when its not?

As I watched Kristian go after Luke, she made many classic mistakes that girls (of all sizes) make when dating. There were so many times I wanted to yell at the TV “you’re coming on too strong!”, “you’re going to scare him off!” but Kristian wasn’t able to see that. Instead, even though she was involved with a man who made it perfectly clear on national television that he’s attracted to large women, Kristian could not see past her size.

Perhaps that was her biggest mistake.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06280624778610511521 Cindy

    Hi Cece..

    I caught your blog by chance and I got stuck to it. I am a PSP and thus feels and understands every single topic u mentioned. It's really cool.. Keep it up… Keep Blogging..

    PSP from Singapore =)

  • http://thezaftiglife.wordpress.com/ Nicci

    I absolutely agree that the issue was less about her weight and more about the nature of men and women… In my opinion, men like to hunt. Period. If a woman doesn't know how to give chase (no easy feat, might i add… requires skill! lol), a man loses interest. No matter what dress size she wears…

  • http://www.mylipstickonhercollar.com Stiletto Siren

    Hey Girl!
    Great post as always! My heart strings were tugged by this episode as well. They problem was that she came on to strong and that she just wasn't the right one for Luke. I was crushed when she made the comment about hoping that it wasn't because of her weight,because she was the biggest girl in the house, It just showed that these girls are really lacking emotional stability and aren't learning from the process. Its really unfortunate.

  • Anonymous

    Having read through your entire blog in one sitting, you're an excellent writer and you come across as a level-headed person — but what is up with this phrase "Plus Size Princess"? Are slim women "Regular Size Princesses"?

    PSP, like BBW, reeks of chunky chicks trying to heave their self-esteem up a flight of metaphoric stairs.

    Plus Size Commoner

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16307795019515443648 V

    I know this is harsh, but she is a bit pathetic for my taste. She came on WAY too strong and it amazes me that anyone can "know" they are in love in that short of a time. I know I don't know what goes on when the camera isn't rolling, but if these girls don't get to spend any time with the guy, how can anyone think they're in love? ugh…

  • Anonymous

    I happened across this blog. I have never seen this show that you are talking about. I think obesity is a problem in America. It is the leading cause of death. Personally I can't stand shows like this where they make all the people who are overweight diet and exercise like crazy to "win". It is also unhealthy and they all seem to go back to being obese after the show ends.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09659661104067705248 Fashionably_Fat

    That whole show just bothers me. Right off the bat I was floored when they listed every girl's WEIGHT beneath her name and age. And then, they're sending this message that only a big guy could possibly love a big girl, that big girls go crazy at the first sign of attention, and that being fat somehow affects your ability to date or effectively interact with the opposite sex. Good for you for still tuning in, because I got a sour taste in my mouth after the first 15 minutes

  • Anonymous

    Im so glad you wrote about that blurb. I havent watch the show, I promised myself I wouldnt, but in turning to see the news the
    other night, I did see a young lady say – I hope he did not let me go because I was the biggest in the house or something to that effect, and It was like wow – that's all she sees herself as. I mean all of the women in the house were plus sized, but being bigger
    than everyone else – she hoped it wasnt the reason he let her go – was she one of the last ones? I know for sure that the show did not just start, so at least one person went before her. If her weight could be a reason to let
    her go, was it also a reason that he kept her?
    She doesnt see herself as anything more than the "fat girl", and it's sad. She missed her whole experience there.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02860514520067890741 The Big Girl Blog!

    Hi Anonymous/"Plus Size Commoner"

    I replied to your question in todays "Curvy Conversations" post…

    xoxo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11314413273316465949 Amina (thecankle)

    Right on the money! I would find myself yelling at the T.V. wishing I could get through to poor Kristian. I bet she will look back at that footage and cringe, I know I certainly did. She seemed like an intelligent, kind woman with a lot to offer. Its unfortunate that her honesty and vulnerability came off as pure desperation.

    but you made some really great points.
    Thanks