A Big Girl Rant: My type’s type

There is a man who is always willing to help me with anything. He regularly expresses his interest in me and tells me how attractive I am. He even offers to drive me to work if the weather is bad and he always opens doors for me.
This man is the doorman of my building.
I often find myself being hit on by men who are not at all “my type” from homeless men, to men with no teeth, to loud construction workers. I am constantly being approached, yet I have no real prospects.
Its very frustrating to get dolled up in a cocktail dress with heels and a the perfect clutch, to have spent a ridiculous amount of time on hair and nails and make-up and feel your absolute best, only to walk into an event full of eligible bachelors who ignore you.
Its even more frustrating when the the only time you do get approached is on your way to the bathroom when the janitor, who is old enough to be your father, says “you got some pretty legs”.
This has been my struggle in New York. If I had to paint a picture of the ideal man for me he would be tall, educated, professional, smart and I’d prefer him not to be overweight. But the men who fit that profile are not the men who are interested in me.
I’m just not “my types” type.
Not My Types Type PlusSizePrincess.com
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  • May

    Hello. Are “homeless men, to men with no teeth, to loud construction workers” ANYBODY’S type?

    I don’t think so.

    I think it’s a matter knowing your type probably has a different approach. If intelligent men are your type, perhaps intelligent conversation is a way to open up the communication that they may be interested in you.
    While looking good attracts imbecilic men, going beyond that (aka being smart, successful) probably attract more evolved men.

    Who said “hollering” and “obnoxious comment” is the only way a man can show his interest in you?

    good luck


  • Plus Size Rocks!

    I totally agree with May! My problem is being attracted to two guys that are my friends who doesn’t see past me being Plus Size. They never say it but I’m sure it’s their reason. I love your article good luck finding the one. :-)

  • CeCe Witherspoon

    I know this is an older post, and that it’s a moot point because of your relationship with Robert. However, I feel like part of the issue you used to have was geographic– I think the culture of NYC encourages people to expect/demand their dates conform to some impossible beauty standards. I’m not denying that fatphobia is part of it– I’m just saying that the fat phobia is part of a larger cultural pattern of ‘demanding perfection’. My guess is that something similar happens in LA, too.

    For what’s it worth, I live in an expensive Canadian city (Vancouver, BC) that has a lot of emphasis on success and external acheivement and wealth and so on; fitness and an outdoorsy lifestyle are also strongly promoted. Given people’s assumptions about all of that, as a plus size lady I can end up being pretty invisible. However, I notice that in other cities with a different cultures (like Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg), I experience much less fat phobia, and have a many more men express interest in me.(I am a hot n’ sexy mama wherever I go, so it’s not like I ‘try harder’ in other citites lolz). I wonder what your experience might have been if you had been single in Minneapolis? What do you think?