When It’s Okay To Walk Out Of A Date

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Walking into the new, chic bar in Harlem, I had the usual jitters that arrive when you’re about to meet someone you’ve been talking to online. I was nervous — but also excited — to learn more about J.R., the guy I’d been chatting and texting with for a few weeks.

From the moment I saw him (sitting, hunched over his phone, texting), I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I approached him in spite of it. We introduced ourselves, but instead of getting up and heading to the bar with me, he stayed fixated on his phone. After about 20 minutes of this — his phone getting way more attention than me — he excused himself to take a call. You can probably predict what happened next: He never came back. I sat alone in the bar, fighting back angry tears.

CeCe Olisa When It's Okay To Walk Out Of A Date

And yet, from the moment I’d laid eyes on J.R., my instincts had told me I wasn’t walking into a good situation. My Jerk-O-Meter had gone off, and I’d ignored it. Why had I stayed when my gut was telling me to leave? Why had I made feeble attempts at small talk when his body language was clearly telling me he wanted nothing to do with me? Well, I did it because it was the polite thing to do. I let manners trump my instincts. And, I realized with some dismay, it wasn’t the first time I’d allowed my inclination to be considerate overrule my need to stand up for myself.

Related: How to Deal with Rejection

I don’t think I’m alone in this. Women are practically trained to “be nice.” We want to be liked, and so we often act politely — even in the face of someone’s rudeness. Being nice to guys I dated, including ones I knew didn’t deserve it, was something I’d just always done. When J.R. defended his phone fixation with a sarcastic remark and still wouldn’t give me the time of day, I could have — and obviously should have — turned and walked out. But, I kept fighting to be polite. I’m not to blame for J.R.’s bad behavior, but my sitting down and continuing to engage with him indicated that I was okay with how he was treating me, which probably only made him think he could disrespect his future dates, too.

It was this horrible date with J.R. that gave me the impetus to throw my good manners out the window when I deemed it necessary. From now on, I was going to put myself first — even if it meant I had to be a little rude. Enough with the niceness all the time! I was quickly learning that it was not always the best policy. Now, if a date makes me feel disrespected, I have the right — and the obligation — to leave. And, I’m proud to say that’s just what I did the last time a guy I went out with turned out to be a jerk.

Related: Is Online Dating Different for Plus Size Women?

I’d met Pete online, and after some nice email exchanges, we decided to meet in person. Pete picked a coffee shop downtown, which fit my rule about meeting in neutral, safe locations. When I walked in, Pete waved at me, with a smile, from a table in the corner. “What’s up, CeCe!” he said, giving me one of those cool-guy chin nods. I hesitantly sat down. We’d barely said hello when Pete began to talk about himself, non-stop, while also checking out other girls right in front of my face. I looked at my watch (never a good sign during a date), which confirmed that the date had been going on for exactly six minutes. I waited for Pete to ask me something — anything — about myself. But, that never happened.

If this was Pete putting his best foot forward, I’d seen all I needed to. “Actually, I’m going to head out,” I said. “It was nice meeting you!” I picked up my purse and went to get a manicure.

Sometimes, being nice is overrated.

Have you ever walked out on a date? …ever wish you had?

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April Plus Size Workout Essentials

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Reminder: The next #PSPfit online fitness boot camp opens up on April 16th. Want in? Pre-Register Here

Last Thanksgiving, my cousin Jamar asked me if I ever got plus size workout clothes from Kohls.com. I told her I’d never gotten anything from Kohls, then she began to rave about all the plus size gym clothing that Kohls sold online.

Kohl’s does carry lots of workout clothes in plus sizes, but I like their Tek Gear line because its more affordable and everything I got was on sale. The sizing was generous and the clothes didn’t ride up or down when I was working out.

Here are my Fitness Essentials from Kohl’s:

CeCe Olisa Plus Size Workout Essentials Kohls.com

Money Saving Tip: Stocking up on fitness essentials at stores like Kohls is a great way to save money because there are lots of sales and coupons based on how much you spend. If you’re in need of a something like a nutribullet, new sneakers or even a yoga mat see if you can get them all from one department store. For example, I finally bought a fitbit charge from Kohl’s, which earned me free shipping, major Kohl’s discounts during my purchase and Kohl’s Cash afterwards.

Tek Gear Bright Racerback Tank tanks that cover my sports bra, are a must– this top is very bright, like neon pink, which I love but sadly I couldn’t capture the true color in my photo. If you love bright colors this is the perfect workout tank for you! Get it Here

Tek Gear Funky Gym Leggings: These have been a welcome change from the long black leggings I’ve been wearing all winter. I ordered a 2X, but these leggings definitely have stretch to them so I probably could have pulled off a 1X. Get them Here

Colorful sneakers These run up to a size 13! Get them here

FitBit Charge HR: I’ve been wanting one of these for a while, it tracks my steps, my calories burned during workouts and even my sleep patterns. Stuff like that is interesting to me, so I’m loving this. Get it here

Now for today’s Giveaway: I’ve got two $50 Kohl’s gift cards to give away. Details below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you, Kohl’s for this fun collaboration. All opinions are my own.

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3 Yummy Quinoa Breakfast Recipes | #PSPfit

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I always thought of quinoa as a savory dish. Something to be used as a rice alternative, but this week I tried quinoa for breakfast as an oatmeal alternative and, um… yum! I posted it on my instagram page and got questions about how to make quinoa for breakfast, so let’s talk about why we should be eating more quinoa and how to prepare it for breakfast!

By the way, Quinoa is pronounced: Keen-Wah, if you’re wondering.

For those of us with PCOS, we want to avoid carbs from sweets, white bread, pasta, rice, etc. If we can swap those with carbos that stabilize blood sugar like sprouted grains, brown rice and quinoa it becomes easier to manage our insulin resistance, weight and overall health.

According to this article quinoa is one of only a few plant foods that are considered a complete protein.

Here are three yummy ways to get your quinoa in the morning.

3 Yummy Quinoa Breakfast Recipes

 

My quinoa was simple with toasted coconut, bananas and berries. If you’d like to make it this way, just swap out seasonings from the following recipes and replace them with what you like.

Pumpkin Quinoa Breakfast

read more..

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Jennifer Lopez White Leather Jacket – 3 Ways to Wear

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One of the ways I keep a budget friendly wardrobe is by ordering pieces that I can wear often and in different environments. When I can wear something all the time, I get more bang for my buck! This white (faux) leather moto jacket by Jennifer Lopez for Kohl’s is a perfect example of a budget friendly buy. It’s easy to dress up or down and it’s on sale here.

Here are three ways to rock a white leather jacket this spring:

CeCe Olisa Plus Size Princess Kohls White Leather Jacket

CeCe Olisa Plus Size White Leather JacketJacket Jennifer Lopez | Top Here | Jeans Rock & Republic | Shoes Here

$10 off your Kohl’s women’s apparel purchase of $50 or more. Select styles. PROMO CODE PETAL10

The leather and denim combo is probably the most versatile look here. I would totally wear this for date night, brunch, drinks with my girlfriends or even for casual Friday’s at the office.

CeCe Olisa Plus Size Leather Jacket

Jacket Jennifer Lopez | Dress (old) | Shoes Here

$10 off your Kohl’s women’s apparel purchase of $50 or more. Select styles. PROMO CODE PETAL10

Whenever Mr. Man and I have a wedding in cool weather, I’m always stumped to find a jacket that compliments my party dress. This edgy moto style with the soft girly dress does the trick. I just folded it under for a more cropped look and it held easily with this heavier fabric.

CeCe Olisa Plus Size Workout Clothes

Jacket Jennifer Lopez | Gym Top Tek Gear | Leggings Tek Gear | Sneakers Here

$10 off your Kohl’s women’s apparel purchase of $50 or more. Select styles. PROMO CODE PETAL10

My Saturday morning workouts are usually followed by errands. This look is perfect for grabbing coffee, grocery shopping, mani’s/pedi’s and running around NYC

Thank you, Kohl’s for this fun collaboration. All opinions are my own.
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#PSPfit Online Bootcamp Begins April 16th, 2015!

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Have you ever had a task that was so overwhelming you kept ignoring it?

Whether it’s a big pile of laundry, or my taxes; whenever I have big a daunting task, I either avoid it completely or I enlist people to help me get it done. Sometimes its as simple as calling a friend to talk to me while I fold clothes. Sometimes its a little deeper, like hiring a tax professional to guide me towards a (huge!) refund.

In a lot of ways, #PSPfit bootcamp is the perfect combination of a friend to stand with you and a professional to guide you. We are a community of women standing together while we tackle the sometimes overwhelming task of getting healthy. We go through our healthy curves journey with some of the top nutrition and fitness professionals around. We love our bodies to health in a body positive space, we move closer to our goals and we don’t look back!

#PSPfit Bootcamp is:

  • 4 Weeks of Private Plus Size Workout Videos
  • 4 Weeks of Meal Plans & Recipes
  • 4 Weeks of Nutrition Coaching with Abra Pappa
  • 4 Weeks of Fitness Coaching with Jayson Leisenring
  • Weekly Coaching Calls
  • Private Facebook Community of body positive women (they are amazing!!)

#PSPfit Spring Online Bootcamp will run from May 1-May 31, 2015.

Registration for #PSPfit Online bootcamp opens on April 16th, 2015. We’ve got surprise goodies for anyone who joins by April 19th, pre-register to find out more.

Interested in joining #PSPfit? Pre Register Here!

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Jump Around!

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Plus Size Denim Jumper

CeCe Olisa Plus Size JumperPlus Size Jumpers Here & Here | Pink T shirt Here | Shoes Here

Note: My size was sold out, so I bought this in a bigger size and had it taken in at the tailor because I loved it so much!

Clothing really can change your mood.  The minute I put on this jumper, I started feeling… jumpy and happy! First of all jumpers are so much fun to wear, also they’re an easy look to pull off. I just added a fitted t-shirt and some sneakers and I was good to go.

This jumper could also be paired with a bright cardigan over it and in the fall, adding tights and my cognac boots will revamp this easily.

I also felt like this was kind of a vintage looking outfit, so I played around with a faux pin-up bang and up-do with my sisterlocks and I’m happy with how that turned out too (I think my hair is getting longer!)

Would you wear a jumper?

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